Sometimes when I look at a picture of Alec, I feel joy. Joy in who he was, joy in the times I spent with him, joy that I was his mom. Other times I feel pain. The pain of missing him, pain in wishing he was here with me, pain…

Grief is so heavy. Sometimes I feel it bearing against my chest. Other times its a hundred pounds on my shoulders. Underneath it there is a hole in my heart left by the loss of Alec. It’s a hole only he can fill so I will live with it the…